This place is immense. I wonder how I am going to make it my own? How am I going to find my place here? with so much space there must be some space for me? For us? A little spot I can make my own. Our own. But there are so many people here. Perhaps the space is used up. Gone. Crowded in to nothingness like the road ways here and the apartment buildings growing off each other like strands of DNA. A structure surely exists in them, but it would take a lifetime to understand. And even then it would always contain a surprise or two. A lifetime. And I have a year, or less, or more. I am right now dazzled by this place. The sights, the sounds the smells. The children playing soccer in streets which are more like alleyways. The ball bouncing off of cars, which are obviously in play. The locals who don't speak any english, yet are so excited to help us and love our attempts to say thank you in Turkish. The huge monuments to different God's built on the backs of the poor and the money of the rich. A place that has been the seat of empires for millennia and is now fighting for inclusion in the European Union, which it isn't even sure it wants. The art, the commerce, the cultures. I am dazzled. But when will that end? Will I have found my place by then?
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